Zio Hayato
by Nehszriah
Summary: After fifteen years of being Tsuna’s right hand man, Gokudera thought he could get at least one afternoon of sleep. Futurefic.
1. Zio Hayato

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or the Mafia.

**CLAIMER**: I do, however, own this idea and whatnot.

**SPOILERS**: It takes place after the Ten Year Later arc… after it supposedly ends jolly and cheerful and our heroes are put back where they belong.

**NOTES**: Naaa… all the fan fiction is melding in my brain with the actual series… this isn't good… Anyways, this takes place after Tsuna and Company fix the future and all that jazz. Things are good for our favorite mafia family during the fifteen year skip from pre-TYL (where I assume they'll return to once everything's FIXED… because the protagonists always win in the end, admit it) to when this takes place. For mor information on this universe, I have an (albeit crappy) one-shot sort-of pertaining to this called "The Zoo", if you want to check that out as well. Ya don't need to, but I enjoy reviews. Like, I really, really enjoy reviews.

* * *

Zio Hayato

It was a day in early spring, right before the bloom of Tsuna's imported cherry blossoms and yet the wind had not quite decided to give up its chill. At the Vongola Compound, in her utmost secret location in Italy, a meeting of the Cosa Nostra was under way.

Well, not exactly under way. Tsuna, being as composed as ever, literally had a miniature freak-out when both Kyoya and Chrome came—a rarity ever since Kyoya and Mukuro had a falling out a few years prior and refused to speak to one another unless one of them was dying (which immediately landed the eternally-sweet Chrome into many difficult situations that was mostly solved by near-isolation from the other Guardians). Since then, the actual meeting itself was put under hold until the Sky could come to grips with everything once again and properly dole out orders. He may have been the Tenth Vongola for fifteen years, but some parts of Tsuna never changed.

This left the Vongola Compound eerily silent as the Guardians went their temporarily separate ways. Rarely did they ever have time to themselves in the Italian countryside and most had come to consensus that they were going to enjoy themselves on the glorious occasion of Tsuna's meltdown. They learned over the years that these moments of character-relapse were precious and not to be wasted.

That day, the only one not out was Gokudera. Although he was the Tenth's right-hand man, he had gathered the wisdom that a little bit of air away from business and anyone but Kyoko around would do his boss good. A bachelor, Gokudera had no woman to play with, which suited him just fine for the moment, nor did he care to go and find some tail to chase. All he wanted at that moment was the drapes drawn, the fine feather pillow and the comfiest couch in the entire compound for the entire afternoon. Quiet, simple bliss.

**_SSSSSSHHHNAK_**—the drapes were pulled open. Damn.

"Hahiii Goku-oji!" sang a high-pitched voice. "We're bored!"

Oh yeah, the rest of the Guardians ended up bringing their children due to some school break. Damn it.

"…'bina, Tesora, Zio Hayato needs the drapes closed and you to leave," Hayato muttered as he rolled over on the couch. Without warning, a mob of children began jumping on him to make sure he was awake.

"Come on Goku-oji! The day is so extremely awesome today!"

"Could you please get up Zio Hayato? It's already after lunch."

"Y-yeah… all the other grown-ups are gone."

"Roku-san's right! You're no fun at all!"

The final child, unfortunately, just bit Gokudera's leg.

After throwing the children of his fellow Guardians off and suppressing the urge to curse loudly at the top of his lungs, Gokudera took a deep breath and assessed the situation. No matter how he looked at it, the amount of quality time today he was going to spend with the most comfortable couch in Vongola history was running short to nil. He was face-to-face with the most aggravating of prepubescent gangsters he had ever come across, which was saying something considering he still had nightmares about watching over the Chiavorone spawn.

That's all they ever were… _spawn_. Those things the others made to further get on his nerves without being present. Hardcore mafia men, such as Gokudera, never understood the appeal of children. Hell, Lambo, a Guardian no less, was a nuisance until he was about fifteen. What was going to make this pint-sized crew any better?

Oh… wait… shit. Obligation.

Damn it.

"Alright, fine, let's play," Gokudera sighed. Most of the kids cheered, the rest had evil grins on their faces.

"What are we going to play first?" the children asked, pretty much all in unison.

"Guess Who's Sleeping," Gokudera yawned. "I'll go first." He flopped back down on the couch and shut his eyes. The game lasted all of two seconds before a strong set of jaws morphed the game from a storybook fancy into a round of very angry tag.

* * *

AN: I apologize if the kids don't sound like what normal little kids sound like. My model for a child is kind of geeky and has an enormous vocabulary for a third-grader.


	2. Yamamoto Haruhi

Alright, I lied… for more information about the following character, details can be found in my story "The Zoo", if you're that curious. Sorry 'bout that folks.

…and please review! It will make this college student very happy.  


* * *

Yamamoto Haruhi

Gokudera kept his steps soft as he walked the gilded halls of the Compound. He knew one of the children was around there somewhere; he could feel it in his bones. This sure was some way for the Tenth Vongola's right-hand man to be spending an afternoon…tiptoeing around his friends' children. Gokudera smiled when he saw the doorway to the parlour in plain sight, where he could finally relax once again.

Suddenly, his ears perked up at the sound of a soft giggle from behind the large suit of armor. Having not been paying too close attention to his surroundings (just enough to know he wasn't in life-threatening danger), he looked down at the armor's legs and spotted a kid's blue-and-crème dress between the spaces.

"Oh, I wonder where those rotten little brats are," Gokudera sighed aloud. Actually, it was extra-loud; so that he could be sure the kid behind the armor could hear. A second giggle arose from the armor and Gokudera snaked his head to look behind it.

"You found me, Goku-oji!" Haruhi laughed. Gokudera remained as composed as possible as the girl promptly grasped his leg in childish excitement. "Now we get to go find the others!"

"…and what makes you think I'm going to do that?"

"…'cause we're playing!"

"A Mafioso does not play."

"Daddy and Mommy play with me."

"They're your parents; that's different."

"Hiiii…"

Gokudera grumbled to himself and kept on walking, despite the girl still latched firmly onto his leg. She would get tired and let go eventually. Lambo always did when he got stuck babysitting that pathetic excuse for a Thunder Guardian, so the Rain brat would most likely follow suit.

Ha. Gokudera obviously did not know his own godchild very well. Haruhi kept on clinging, even when he went down the stairs. It was just a good thing the brat was so light, or the Storm knew he would have never made it to the kitchen.

"Hey, if I get you some food, will you leave me alone?" Gokudera asked sourly. The girl's eyes lit up.

"Really? Awesome Goku-oji!" Haruhi let go and ran for a chair at the unnecessarily large table, large enough to fit every Guardian and immediate family.

Gokudera glanced through the cupboards and frowned at the lack of prepared food. Since a good enough portion of the Cosa Nostra enjoyed cooking, Tsuna never bothered to employ cooks. This left very little around for midday snacks and treats and even less still for children.

"Here," Gokudera said, placing a plate in front of Haruhi. It contained a few of the sushi rolls Takeshi had made the night before, which the man knew the kid ate.

"Cool!" Haruhi giggled. She hopped down from the chair and went into a drawer where she knew her Tsuna-oji kept the chopsticks.

"Hey Goku-oji?"

"What?"

The ends of the chopsticks separated and the eating commenced.

"Why do you always have to live so far away?"

"…because this is where I work."

"Daddy works here too, but we live in Japan!"

"Well, that's your dad. He loves baseball too much to live anywhere else."

"Hahi?"

Of all the traits she had to inherit from her mother, it had to be that stupid "hahi" thing.

"Japan just works better for your dad. Besides, don't you have friends there?"

"Yeah. Then there's all my cousins and jii-chan and sometimes, if I'm good, Daddy takes me to a baseball game!"

"See… that's what I'm talking about," Gokudera said, sitting down across from Haruhi. "I'm not very good with baseball and don't know a lot, so Japan isn't very good for me, but great for your dad."

"Then how did you live in Japan before?"

"It was very hard." Total lie.

"Oh." Haruhi sat contemplating for a moment as she chewed on her last sushi roll. "Hiii! I have an idea! I'll teach you about baseball! Daddy says I'm really good and I made sure to bring my bat and ball and I know Daddy packed his glove!"

"Now I don't think that's…"

"No! It'll be fun! Just wait right here while I go get my stuff!" With that, Haruhi bolted from her chair and ran out into the hall at full speed.

"Shit," Gokudera cursed, smacking his forehead with his palm. He placed Haruhi's plate in the sink, threw away the chopsticks and walked out of the kitchen, opting for Plan B.

* * *

AN: Sorry, probably should've mentioned it before, but "zio" and "-oji" are "uncle". "jii-chan" is obviously Takeshi's dad.


	3. Sawada Kiyohiko

Eh… nothing to really say, other than this is a shorter chapter. Meh.

* * *

Sawada Kiyohiko

For Gokudera, Plan B for a relaxing afternoon involved the library—the location of numerous volumes and the second-comfiest couch in the entire compound. He would have been out of the reach of Haruhi and would still be able to get in that nap he wanted; maybe with a little reading on the side (it felt like ages since he picked up a decent book).

The library itself was enormous, possessing the floor space of a large city library with four extended stories upwards. The shelves contained everything from modern texts to books from before the unification of the Italian Kingdom and legend held that there was an original printing of the _Divina Commedia_ somewhere on the higher shelves.

Grabbing the nearest pulp western novel (his most recent guilty pleasure), Gokudera climbed the stairs until he reached the third floor of the library. Here sat a glorious couch tucked away in the corner, basking in the sunlight and accompanied by fluffy pillows of only the highest quality. The Storm allowed himself to fall into the couch and flipped open his book to be lit by the sun.

A few short chapters later, Gokudera began to hear a sniffling sound coming from behind the couch. He put the book in his breast pocket and investigated, only to find the future Eleventh Vongola, sobbing into his sleeves.

"What are you doing?" Gokudera asked, rather bluntly. The little boy, near an exact physical replica of his mother, looked up at him with puffy red eyes that normally would have belonged to his father.

"I went to go hide in the ballroom when you were chasing us and suddenly I couldn't find anyone anymore and I tried looking and everyone was gone!" Snot began dripping from the kid's nose as he sat there and let out horrific little squirt-like squeaks that made Gokudera wonder if this was even Tsuna's son.

"Come on Eleventh," Gokudera sighed. "I know that if you go into the kitchen and wait, Haruhi will come."

"Really?"

"I'm pretty sure."

Kiyohiko crawled out from behind the couch and sat on the floor next to Gokudera. The boy was a sad and pathetic excuse for someone brought up in the mafia. Gokudera could now understand how when he had first met the Tenth that he wasn't really prepared for his future lifestyle, let alone knew about it beforehand. The Eleventh though, this boy was Mafia-born and bred; he had to know the standards he was required to live by! It just made no sense… unless Kyoko was coddling the kid.

"Goku-oji! I thought you were going to stay in the kitchen!" scolded Haruhi. Gokudera winced and turned to see the Rain's brat standing adamantly by the railing, decked out in a ball cap and brandishing the necessary equipment for baseball.

"I, uh, was getting the Eleventh to come join us…?" Gokudera lied. "Baseball's more fun if you play with more than two people, right?"

"You were, Gokudera-san?" Kiyohiko sniffled. Gokudera twitched a little, but—lucky for him—Haruhi was just as oblivious as both her parents.

"Hahi… that's true…" the girl mused. "We'll need a catcher in the outfield so we all don't have to go out there all the time for the balls.

"…but I don't know about baseball…" Kiyohiko whimpered. "I'm not that good at sports…"

"That's alright! I'll teach both of you about baseball! This'll be great!"

"I don't know about this Haruhi-san…"

"Come on Yohi-kun! It'll be fun!"

"I told you I'm no good!"

"That's why I'm here to teach you!" Haruhi let off a million-watt smile that could have melted even the iciest of hearts. "Don't worry about it Yohi-kun! I'll make sure that by the time I have to go back home, you will play just as well as the other kids in Japan. It'll be like you never left."

Kiyohiko glanced up at Haruhi and wiped away a tear with his sleeve. He allowed her to help him up and they both smiled at one another.

"Come on Goku-oji! Let's go teach Yohi-kun how to play baseball!"

"…but we don't have a proper field…" Try to get out of it… try to get out of it…

"No problem! We can just try batting for now; we don't need to work on base running until Daddy comes back and he can mark off some pretend bases for us."

"Goodie," Gokudera sighed, allowing himself to be drug from the couch by the children.

* * *

AN: "-san" is like "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms." and "Miss".


	4. Sasagawa Masaru

Please review, people… please…? I'm not asking for much...  


* * *

Sasagawa Masaru

Outside the main building of the Vongola Compound, in the aisles of the orchard, the sun was shining bright as Haruhi began her baseball boot camp for her friend and godfather. Gokudera seemed a mite miffed at the fact he was running around on the grass in a suit, but that was no concern of Haruhi's. She happily ran around without taking notice to her increasingly filthy dress or that that Kiyohiko in the outfield was far from being good at throwing the ball and was more or less afraid of it. Any way Gokudera looked at it… this was just the stupid baseball brat weaseling in batting practice.

"Go long, Yohi-kun!" Haruhi yelled as Gokudera threw another ball at her. She had been hitting them perfectly straight and all right on target so far, so the young boy decided it was best to run as instructed.

_**KERRRAK**_

The ball went zooming across the orchard, soaring high in the sky. Gokudera had to arch his neck to watch it. A strong wind began to blow, forcing the ball off-target and off into another aisle.

"Oh, man!" Haruhi sighed. "I knew I should've been practicing more!"

Practicing more? The way Gokudera saw it, she hit the balls further and more accurate than half of the adults in Japan. It had to be Takeshi's genes.

"Ow!" shouted a voice once the baseball finally disappeared into the trees. Haruhi, Kiyohiko and Haruhi rushed through the orchard to find whoever it was that they accidentally hit.

Lying in the grass with a glazed-over expression on his face was the Sun Guardian's son Masaru.

"Oh, hi there Goku-oji!" the boy said. "All of a sudden, I have an extreme headache!"

"Are you alright Masaru-nii?" Kiyohiko asked, tears beginning to well in his eyes for his elder cousin. Haruhi, however, did not look as distressed as the Eleventh.

"He's fine. I've been hit worse," she said, looking at the lump on Masaru's head. "Masaru-kun's tougher than this."

_That explains a lot about both of them_, Gokudera sighed. "Alright kids, time to go inside."

"…but it's not dinner time yet!" Haruhi protested. "I wanna play more baseball!"

"You're playing baseball? I wanna play too!" Masaru said, immediately perking up.

"Then let's go!" Haruhi smiled. Masaru jumped to his feet, swayed a little bit out of dizziness, and then followed Haruhi back to where she had left the mitts and bat.

"Is Masaru-nii going to be alright, Gokudera-san?" Kiyohiko whimpered, tugging onto Gokudera's pant leg. "That looked like a bad bump!"

"If he's anything like his father, which I know he is, then he'll be fine," Gokudera assured. "Now go play with them."

"Okay…" Kiyohiko said, trying his best to smile. Gokudera followed the Eleventh back to where Haruhi and Masaru were already playing. The three were now running about and laughing, having abandoned baseball temporarily for tag.

"You'll never catch me!" Masaru jeered. "I can run extremely fast you know!"

"We'll see about that!" Haruhi laughed. Kiyohiko tried to keep up, but was not able to run very far without stopping to catch his breath.

Figuring he had nothing else better to do, Gokudera sat down underneath a nearby tree and lit a cigarette. Trying to go back to the Compound would be useless, as one of the children would spot him and then he would probably have to fight off both Haruhi and Masaru (Kiyohiko would just stand there and look pathetic; maybe he just needed to grow into being a mafia man). Closing his eyes, Gokudera decided that it was just best to leave things be and the little brats would go away.

"Hey Goku-oji?!" Masaru asked. Gokudera looked up and saw the children staring at him.

"What?"

"Is it true you went to school with all our dads in Japan?"

"Your dad and Haruhi's dad and both the Eleventh's parents… yeah. Why?"

"See, I told you," Masaru told Kiyohiko, slapping his cousin on the back. "That's why you need to come back to Japan when we're old enough to go to school together! We'll be the most extreme trio the school's ever seen!"

"Yeah, we can all attend Namimori like our dads!" Haruhi grinned. "Masaru-kun and I'll make sure no one picks on you. You and I can even be in the same class since you're not that much younger than me."

"I-I-I don't know you guys…" Kiyohiko stammered.

"You can live at my house!" Masaru said. "It'll be extremely fun and we can go out for sports together!"

"Yohi-kun doesn't do sports, Masaru-kun," Haruhi said rather flatly. "Part of us playing outside was to teach him how to play baseball like a real Japanese kid."

"Then why were we just playing tag?"

"…because you forgot what we were playing and started chasing after us Masaru-nii."

"Oh, yea… I guess so."

"Let's get back to the game then," Haruhi said. The two boys agreed and they went back to the game, except this time the objective was to teach Kiyohiko how to bat. Gokudera leaned back into the tree and closed his eyes again, irritated by the simple and sudden question. Children sure were pointlessly annoying sometimes.

* * *

AN: "-nii" is like "big bro" and is used by many children as honorary suffixes for older males who they can see as an elder brother, usually up until the target is about the age of twenty-five and instances vary.

Also, Masaru is nine, Haruhi is eight and Kiyohiko is an old seven... in case anyone was wondering.


	5. Hibari Osamu

I have officially decided that all you people are mean. Three favorites lists and an alert, but only one person left an anonymous review? Why does only the shounen-ai/yaoi get reviews? For shame.

Yeah, I'm a crotchety and flustered person. Sue me. Better yet, leave a review telling me what you think of the story (all critiques on my attitude can be saved for PMs).

* * *

Hibari Osamu

After a few hours, the sun began to sink in the sky and Gokudera ordered the children inside. They protested, as Kiyohiko was able to hit the ball (it would only go about ten meters, but at least he hit the thing) and the sun wasn't even close to setting, but Gokudera would have none of it. At least once they were inside the Compound, he would be able to lose the kids somehow and potentially get in a few hours of rest before the other adults came home and dinner served.

They walked inside and placed the bat, gloves and ball inside a closet before the children began to run about. The commotion began to give Gokudera a headache, so he walked in the direction of the bathroom to see if there was some aspirin in the cabinet.

Gokudera never did make it to the bathroom though. Standing in his way was a scary-looking five-year-old clutching a yellow, fluffy stuffed bird. The other kids noticed how still Gokudera was and came over to investigate.

"Hahi, it's Osamu-chan," Haruhi smiled. She bent forward and patted the little kid on the head. Before she could pull her hand away, the child bit her fingers.

"Ouch!" she cried. Gokudera did not see any blood spewing, so he figured Haruhi was going to be fine. He looked at her fingers anyways, since she held out her hand in his direction.

"Biting isn't nice Osamu," Gokudera deadpanned. Well, the skin was _almost_ broken, so he could not really blame the girl. He looked at the boy, who was a carbon copy of his father. In fact, Gokudera remembered the first time anyone had ever seen Osamu was when Kyoya brought the boy to a meeting the previous year—simply stating that it was his "turn." No one, even the Tenth, dared asked where the child had come from. Some things were just better left alone.

"Herbivore," Osamu said plainly, pointing at Haruhi. Gokudera smacked his forehead. This child obviously inherited more of his father's mannerisms than he would admit is comfortable.

"You're a mean little brat," Masaru accused. "Say you're sorry." Osamu glared at the older children and grunted.

"You're all worthless herbivores."

"Goku-oji! Make him apologize!" Masaru demanded. Haruhi was still sitting on the floor, nursing her fingers and Kiyohiko was having a miniature panic session due to his friend's throbbing digits.

"Come on Osamu," Gokudera said, keeping his distance away from the kid. "Apologize to Haruhi."

"She should have never touched me."

Oh yeah… Hibari's kid.

"Apologize right now or I'll… erm…"

"You'll do what?"

Man, this kid was fierce.

"I'll… I'll put you in time-out until your dad gets home," Gokudera threatened. It sounded fairly credible, in his semi-expert opinion, and was surprised when the boy smirked.

"You wouldn't dare."

Deciding that having children call his bluff was not the right way to go, Gokudera swiftly grabbed the kid by the back of his collar and whisked him into the bathroom. No one, no matter how small or how much Kyoya's kid, was going to make fun of the Vongola's right-hand man like that. He saw the bar of soap sitting on its plate and stuffed the end into Osamu's mouth, remembering the discipline method from a movie he once saw.

"This is what happens to kids who bite," Gokudera frowned. Osamu narrowed his eyes and spat out the soap.

"I'll bite your head off," the kid snarled. He tried reaching for Gokudera, but being that all of his limbs were too short to do much, he ended up flailing about and dropping his stuffed bird.

"Hey, what's this?" Haruhi asked as she picked up the bird. It took Gokudera all of five seconds to realize what that purple thing was sticking out of the stuffed animal's beak….

The Ten Year Bazooka… that Lambo had been missing since earlier that week.

"Give me that!" Gokudera said, lunging for the bird. Haruhi squealed and threw the bird at Kiyohiko, who immediately cowered and allowed Masaru to catch it.

"You're gonna have to catch us first!" Masaru laughed. The Storm let out a little grunt as he tried to relinquish the weapon from the kid's grasp, but slip on the soap Osamu had spit out and fell.

Gokudera attempted to get up and pursue, but Osamu wriggled free of Gokudera's grasp and bit the man's arm. Trying to shake off the kid, he could only watch in horror as the other three kids down the hall were playing with the cannon.

"This looks extremely like Lambo-nii's cannon!" Masaru marveled.

"We should give it back to Gokudera-san!" Kiyohiko said nervously.

"Hii, stop worrying Yohi-kun," Haruhi said, looking into the cannon barrel. "It's probably just a toy Osamu-chan's dad gave him."

"Feels like one of those extremely harmless air-guns," Masaru said, judging the weight of the weapon. "I've got one at home, but it's green."

"What happens?"

"Stand back and I'll show you Haruhi!"

"No!" Gokudera rushed towards the kids, trying his best to ignore the pain still clenched to his arm. He was too late though, for the cannon already fired and a puff of smoke enveloped Haruhi.

_Haru's gonna kill me._


	6. Adult Haruhi

Your offerings... they please me. Let's try to break the record of four, alright gang? -smiles- Since I've already finished, I'm in the process of writing an extra chapter if you're all good!

Oh, have I mentioned lately I'm sadistic? Well, I am... just to let you all know.

* * *

Adult Haruhi

When the smoke cleared, a very startled eighteen-year-old Haruhi was standing in the hallway, dressed in just denim shorts and a bra. After a second to figure out what was going on, she let out a scream.

"Hahi!! What the hell?!" she gasped. Her face flushed red when she saw Gokudera. "Zio Hayato, you better damn well explain this!"

"Ah… er… um…" Gokudera stuttered. His own face was red as well, not by his own choosing of course. How was it his fault the girl went from brat kid to a real looker in a matter of seconds?

"You're extremely hot, nee-san," Masaru said. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

"I was changing in the locker room, getting ready for a game," Adult Haruhi frowned as she saw the cannon in Masaru's hands. She took it from him and held it out towards Gokudera. "I remember you were the most irresponsible sitter in the world."

"Yeah…?" Gokudera took the bazooka, trying to keep his eyes on Adult Haruhi's face. He was going to have to slap Takeshi later for making such a fine-looking daughter. "So you play baseball like your dad?"

"Yeah, in the Majors."

"What's the Majors?" Kiyohiko asked, the only one not fazed by Adult Haruhi's appearance.

"Something you're going to protest against, so don't," Adult Haruhi said. She bent down and looked at Kiyohiko, letting off a smile that looked as if it was stolen right from Takeshi's face. "I can't believe how little you were ten years ago Yohi-chan. You're so cute!" Kiyohiko blushed furiously as Adult Haruhi pinched his cheek.

"What about me?!" Masaru asked. "Aren't I extremely cute too?"

"You're… just smaller."

"You're extremely hot."

"I've gathered."

"Nee-san, where'd you put Haruhi-san?" Kiyohiko asked.

"Somewhere in the Seattle visitor's lockers," Adult Haruhi said. Watching the expression of blank confusion spread across Masaru and Kiyohiko's faces, she turned to Gokudera, who was still staring against his will. "Little Hibari's kind of eating your arm."

"I know; it hurts like hell."

"Make sure Eleventh gets into Namimori with Masaru and I; it'll be an important focal point in his further training. Keep us in the same high school, for that's important too. Don't come with him; Masaru and I are completely capable of handling things. Also, letting me go to America is a good thing, no matter what you may think."

"Good thing… yeah… think… focal point…"

Damn… how did that come out of Haru and Takeshi?

"Zio Hayato?"

"Yeah?"

"Get married and have kids, seriously. You become a better sitter as time goes on and if Hibari-jiji can stay with a woman long enough to create that little beast…" Adult Haruhi said, pointing accusingly at Osamu, "then I'm sure there's someone for you too. Try taking us on outings; little kids are chick-magnets."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"I think my time's about up then," Adult Haruhi said. Gokudera blinked and suddenly noticed the chain around her neck that held the Storm Guardian ring around it.

"Haruhi…! The Storm…!"

"Hahi? Oh yeah…" she chuckled. "It's a long story, Zio. Arrivederci!" With a laugh, a wink and a puff of smoke enveloped Adult Haruhi and the regular Haruhi appeared in her place.

"Hiii! You wouldn't believe what I saw!" she said as soon as she saw Masaru and Kiyohiko.

"Oi, where'd you put the extremely hot nee-san?!"

"What did you see Haruhi-san?"

"I was in a ballpark locker room over in America!" the little girl said excitedly. "The entire Oakland Athletics were there and they knew my name!"

"The what…?" Gokudera asked, finally shaking Osamu off and allowing the child to run away.

"The Oakland Athletics! They're a professional baseball team in America."

"Is that a women's team?" Gokudera was serious, for he knew absolutely nothing about baseball overseas.

"Hiii… you know nothing about the game, do you Goku-oji? Baseball players in America are all guys! They were all really nice though and said I was adorable and one of them had some gum and he let me have it!" Haruhi pulled an odd-looking pack of stringy gum out of her pocket and showed it to Masaru and Kiyohiko. Gokudera just blanched.

Playing on a men's team and getting changed when the rest of the team are changing right there next to her? She was never going to go to America… ever.

**EVER.

* * *

**AN: "nee-san" is akin to "big sister", "-jiji" is like calling someone an old fart (-snarks-), "Arriverderci" is "good-bye", "-chan" is a diminutive (can't remember if I mentioned that before)... and I find poor, poor Hayato-kun getting a glimpse of what could have been totally tappable and legal had she not been from ten years in the future--or his goddaughter--to be hilarious.

...and I totally would have made Haruhi play for my beloved Tigers, but there's not much of a Japanese market 'round these parts. Bugger.


	7. Foschia and Damiano Dokuro

I've been hit with the desolation bullet! Naaaa! It seems like people only leave reviews when I yell... -whimpers- Please don't make me yell.  


* * *

Foschia and Damiano Dokuro

Not really knowing what to do next, Gokudera decided that he was going to go put the Ten Year Bazooka in his room for safekeeping until Lambo came back with I-Pin… whenever the hell they decided to show up again. Despite the fact Hibari's little terror ran off somewhere, Kiyohiko, Haruhi and Masaru stuck to him like glue, making sure he had to carry the three out so that he was sure Masaru was not going to try to get the "extremely hot nee-san" back. He could only imagine what kind of commotion would happen if Haruhi suddenly switched places with her adult self on television. The Vongola could handle a single group of men, but an entire nation was stretching it.

Closing the door to his quarters, Gokudera wondered what he was going to now do with the three brats thrown over his shoulder. He could drop them right there and make a run for it, but that would be conforming to that "irresponsible sitter" bit (besides, he was convinced the children would just find him again and bother him twice as much). He could continue "playing" with the kids, but he was not all that sure if he would be able to stay out of joining in this time around.

Walking down the hall with the squirming kids, Gokudera pondered what he was going to do. Hmm… the ledge off the banister did not seem too bad…

"There you are!" shouted an accusing voice. Gokudera turned around and saw two children standing in the hallway; a boy and a girl… Chrome's twins. It was rather fitting she had twins, he thought, being the relationship between her and Mukuro after all. The only sticking point was exactly who and how…

"You're a bad babysitter!" the girl, Foschia, said, pointing at Gokudera. "Did you know we could have died in at least seventeen different ways by now?!"

"Sorella—Sister—please don't be too hard on Zio Hayato," said the boy said meekly. "There are a lot of us kids…"

"Nonsense!" the girl said. "You're just too soft Damiano." The girl may have looked like her mother, but had to have gained the exact opposite personality. It made Gokudera think that Chrome must have left the children with the Kokuyo gang far too often.

"Hi there Foschia-chan!" Haruhi said merrily, trying to greet the other girl from over Gokudera's shoulder. "Where'd you run off to? We were playing baseball earlier and it would have been great to have two more people."

"Really now?" the girl sounded less than amused. Gokudera let the kids down off his shoulder and all three ran up to the twins.

"Yeah! It was still really fun and Yohi-kun can now hit the ball!" The Eleventh looked a little embarrassed.

"It was thanks to Haruhi-san and Masaru-nii that I could hit the ball," he said with a nervous grin. The Storm sighed at the future Boss's lack of gusto, realizing that it was going to definitely be a lot of work training this one.

"Maybe we can practice together sometime!" Damiano said excitedly. He and Kiyohiko both laughed, both pleased that they would be able do something together that required physical activity. From what the only adult in the room remembered about both children, their athleticism was almost up to being able to play with those little triangular pieces of paper one flicks around in other people's faces.

"Tch, you can hit a ball," Foschia scoffed. "So what? Roku-san's got me fencing."

"Well, maybe we're not all perfect like you," Haruhi said, stepping between Kiyohiko and Foschia. Damiano side-stepped a little so he too was behind Haruhi. "I think you're just a big bully. Your own brother is afraid of you."

"Is that a challenge?" Foschia smirked.

"I'll whip you any time."

"…at a stupid sport."

"Extreme catfight!"

Throwing all questions about why Masaru knew the term "catfight" aside, Gokudera quickly intervened and pulled the two girls apart by the backs of their necks. They dangled there in the air, trying to claw one another with little success. Masaru tried egging them on, but Kiyohiko and Damiano appeared to be on the verge of tears.

"Stop it you two, or both of you are going to be in a ton of trouble," Gokudera sighed. The girls kept on fighting, however, not paying attention to the Guardian.

"This is just like boxing, but in the air!" Masaru cheered.

"Sorella, please stop!" Damiano cried.

"You shouldn't fight her Haruhi!"

"She started it!"

"You're just a stupid baseball idiot!" Déjà vu.

"Girls, shut up and calm down. What would your parents say if they saw you fighting like this?" Gokudera sighed. Both Haruhi and Foschia went limp at the thought.

"I have a baseball tournament when I get back home and Dad said I had to be good until then!"

"You don't have to answer to Chikusa-san for punishment! He's scary!"

Gokudera put down the whimpering girls, feeling a sense of accomplishment. He opened his mouth to give a speech on how Family members should cooperate, even if they dislike one another, but before he could utter a sound, Foschia sideswiped Haruhi and the girls ended up wrestling on the ground. Masaru began cheering and the other two boys were literally crying at the sight. The Storm just grumbled.

Suddenly, Gokudera winced and held in what would have been quite the loud string of profanities—Osamu had returned and was once again biting the man's leg.

Damn…

* * *

AN: "Sorella" means "sister" in Italian (according to an online translator; my formal lessons are too far behind me). Oh, and I made a funny. "Foschia" is Italian for "Mist" and "Damiano" means "to tame". Ha. Ha. Ha. I make lame funnies...

Now, please review.


	8. The Varia in Training

Sorry I kinda ignored you guys, but I forgot I was updating.

* * *

The Varia-in-Training

It took a while, but Gokudera was finally able to get the girls to stop fighting and had sat them down on opposite ends of a couch. Between them sat Kiyohiko, Damiano and Masaru. Since Gokudera was rather clueless as methods of getting the five-year-old off his leg, the man stood in front of the rest of the children with the kid still hanging there like a limp, strong-jawed doll.

"Alright, I don't know what possessed your parents to think it was a good idea to leave you brats with me, but I am going to take no more of this nonsense out of you. From now on, you are going to behave."

"She started it!" Haruhi accused, pointing over at Foschia, who in return stuck out her tongue.

"I don't care who started it, but I am going to finish it," Gokudera stated. Kiyohiko looked distressed at the declaration; Masaru seemed confused; Damiano appeared to want to run out of the room right then and there; Foschia remained indifferent and Haruhi pouted.

"That is not how you are supposed to talk to children, Zio Hayato," smirked a voice. Gokudera looked over and saw his twelve-year-old niece, Rosario.

"I thought you were supposed to be in Venice with your brother and Dino," Gokudera said grouchily, instantly gaining a slight headache from the sight of the girl. He had no idea that there were more brats wandering around the Compound and where there was Rosario, he knew Xanxus's hooligan Fausto was not far behind. The two had been near inseparable since they were toddlers.

"I didn't think it was necessary for me to be around when dad was taking Andrea to go train," the girl said with such an air, one could have mistaken her for a boy. She looked just like Dino, but with that lavender-pink hair of her mother's. Hell, she even dressed like she was a boy. "Besides, you look like you need some help with the kids. You seem to lack the proper love in your voice."

"They're not that much younger than you, you know," Gokudera said blandly. Rosario pretended to not hear him, a habit her uncle had long ago accepted.

"Oh, hey there Haruhi-chan!" Rosario said cheerfully. She began to run, only to trip over herself halfway across the room.

"Hiii! You alright Rosario-nee?" Haruhi jumped down off the couch and helped the older girl up.

"Yeah. It's just that when Leader isn't around, I always seem to trip and stuff."

"Leader?" Gokudera asked skeptically. "What in the heck are you talking about?"

"She's talking about me, Fausto-sama!" shouted a voice from the hallway. Fausto, who was only a year older than Rosario, was a scrappy little thing who had been on a power kick ever since he decided at the age of six that he would succeed his father as the next Varia leader. Unfortunately, Gokudera concluded, this meant he was dragging Rosario in with him.

"Leader!" the girl squealed. She ran over and hugged Fausto around the middle. "Where did you run off to!? I've been looking for you for forever!"

"Get off me!" the boy snapped, trying to push Rosario away.

"Alright! Fausto-nii's here too! Now our group is gonna be extremely fun!"

"Shut up, kid." Gokudera then turned to Fausto and Rosario, "and why are you two here? Don't you have your own homes to destroy?"

"Dad's out on a mission and we're hungry," Fausto said plainly. "Feed us, old man."

"Go to Rosario's house."

"I get sick when Mom cooks for me and Dad's in Venice!"

"Do I look like I care?"

"You should."

"Can it, Foschia."

"Don't tell me what to do, pervert. I saw you holding the Ten Year Bazooka with an almost naked Haruhi in the hallway."

"Hiiii?!?"

"You were ten years older; don't worry."

"Are you taking about the extremely hot nee-san?!"

"Masaru-nii, please calm down…!"

"We're hungry, damn it!"

"SHUT UP!" Gokudera screamed at the top of his lungs. All the kids looked at him curiously.

"What's the matter Gokudera-san?" Kiyohiko asked.

"Listen—since it's late—if I get you kids some food, will you promise to shut the hell up and behave?" Gokudera asked through clenched teeth.

Collective cheering commenced and Osamu relaxed his jaw long enough to allow Gokudera to kick the child off before heading back into the kitchen. The children all ran ahead of him and were sitting eagerly at the table as soon as he entered the room.

"I want burgers!"

"I want chicken!"

"I want eel!"

"Shut up or none of you are getting anything," Gokudera snarled. The kids immediately froze in their places and watched silently as Gokudera searched the cupboards for some pasta.

A short while after Gokudera began the actual cooking process; Fausto grinned evilly and leaned over to whisper in Rosario's ear. The girl giggled softly in reply.

"Do you think we could pull it off?" the boy asked.

"We can do anything if we put love into it, Leader; that's what my mom told me."

"Alright then."

Without a sound, Fausto slid out of his chair and underneath the table, hidden by the large countertop island between them and Gokudera. After waiting a few seconds to see whether Gokudera turned around or not, Rosario also slid down. The two tweens made their way stealthily to one of the island's cupboards that was out of Gokudera's sight and began rummaging through. In it was some baking supplies for when Haru was feeling gracious enough to make muffins or cookies (her baking and cooking had both come a long way). After letting out an inaudible giggle, Rosario made her way over to the other side of the island and both future assassins waited.

Gokudera could feel something was up; there was no doubt about that. He did not really care for the most part though, for it was just a bunch of stupid little kids and nothing more. Once the pasta had been boiling, he carefully turned off the flame and gingerly picked up the pot so that he could drain the noodles in the colander already sitting in the island sink.

Without warning, Rosario and Fausto jumped up from either end of the island and lobbed their ammo at Gokudera. Unable to move quickly due to the boiling pot, the Guardian reluctantly allowed himself to be pelted with flour and chocolate chips.

Enraged, Gokudera shouted angrily at the kids. He tried to put the pot in the sink, but missed due to the flour in his eyes and dropped it on his foot. Hot water splashed all over Gokudera, scalding him through the skin, and the slippery pasta quickly went underfoot. He fell, making the kids laugh (aside from Kiyohiko, of course, who was getting up to aid the man).

The kids screamed, however, when they saw a piece of dynamite flung into the air.

* * *

AN: I have a feeling I may be the only person in the entire fandom that could possibly support Dino/Bianchi. It wouldn't be an easy pairing, but it can be done. Also, we do not dare ask where Fausto came from. Like Hibari... you just don't do it.


	9. The End Result

Alright everyone! I know this is short, but if you leave those reviews, I might include an extra chapter tomorrow! I know you can do it. I don't bite... often.

* * *

The End Result

It had been a lovely day out on the town for the Vongola Guardians. Everyone had even met for dinner (including Kyoya, which was a smidgeon odd due to how aloof he was even while residing in the Compound) and they all decided to head back home together. It was well past dark, the clock inching ever closer to midnight.

"I wonder how Gokudera-kun did with the kids?" Kyoko asked as the group walked up to the house. She was the one who had been the most nervous about leaving the Storm with the children, never having forgotten the coarse treatment Lambo and I-Pin had received back when they were younger.

"I think he did fine," Takeshi said with a brilliant smile. Completely opposite of Kyoko, the Rain had complete faith in his fellow Guardian from the very start. "It is Gokudera-kun after all! He can handle anything."

"You seem to think of his abilities quite highly," Chrome smiled kindly. The cheerful mood was squished, however, when Tsuna opened up the door and gave off a little squeak-like noise.

The Compound was a disaster area. A garden hose laid dripping from the stair banister, having previously doused most of the foyer hall. The floor was covered in mud, grass clumps and leaves. How it got there from the gardening shack clear on the other side of the grounds was a mystery.

"Once an incompetent herbivore, always an incompetent herbivore," Kyoya muttered, deciding to quietly take his leave while the others panicked. Nothing overly-priceless was ruined, nor was anyone killed, so he had no need to fret; his security system would have alerted him otherwise.

"Who in the hell made this extreme mess?!"

"Please calm down, onii-san!"

"Let's just find Gokudera-kun and the kids for now, alright guys?"

"Good idea, Tsuna-san."

Searching around the Compound did not reveal anything else to have been safe from destruction. The kitchen looked like the refrigerator threw up, one of the parlors on the second floor was strewn with overturned furniture and there was evidence everywhere of Gokudera losing his cool and throwing sticks of dynamite in various directions.

After a while of looking, Haru exclaimed from the third floor that she had found them. Everyone else ran to where she was, only to find the woman smiling as she stared at the oddly calming scene.

Despite the singeing end on the couch and sets of drenched clothes, a mass of sleeping children lay sprawled out over the very sofa that Gokudera had wanted to occupy that afternoon. Masaru was half-off, only his right leg still firmly on the couch. Haruhi was snuggled between Damiano and Kiyohiko. Rosario was curled up on top of Fausto, who had his head in Foschia's lap. Gokudera was propped up against the couch, asleep despite Osamu unconsciously gnawing on his head.

"So they're all alive, plus some," Tsuna sighed happily. He smiled at the Storm Guardian, who appeared as if he was going to sleep for a week. Everyone began collecting their collective children (Ryohei helped out Chrome by taking both Masaru and Damiano) and retiring to their rooms for the night.

"You know Haru," Takeshi said as he picked up Haruhi, "this reminds me of something."

"Hahi?"

"I think Fuuta-kun was right all those years ago; Gokudera-kun really must love kids after all."

"That is definitely stretching it Dear and you know it." Haru gave Takeshi a stern frown.

"I know," the man said with a smile. "I know."


	10. Omake

Naaaa! The extra chapter ended up being so much longer than a normal chapter! What happened? Well, anyways, enjoy and please review! Reviews are the fuel for the fiction-writer's flame and the more you submit, the brighter we burn. -grins-

* * *

Zio Hayato Omake

Gokudera sat in the little gelato shop, attempting not to frown as part of Masaru's ice cream fell down onto the table. The man wondered if Ryohei's boy was retarded or something like that, considering he could not keep the treat off his face, clothes or the furnishings. The boy was a big, sticky mess of Rocky Road.

"What's the matter Goku-oji?" Haruhi asked as she took a lick of her own strawberry ice cream. Gokudera just took a bite of his vanilla and glanced at the girl.

"Nothing," he lied.

Actually, there were a lot of things wrong in Gokudera's opinion. For one, he had the most dynamically troublesome pair in the entire Family with him (he did not count those like Osamu and Foschia because they did not get along unless necessary and the Chiavorone and Fausto had partially-outgrown their troublesomeness in lieu of training) and there was no way to conveniently get rid of them. Secondly, the squirts were not doing their job properly.

See… when Gokudera had awoken the morning after being left with all the Guardians' children, he required a long shower thanks to a combination of Osamu's constant chewing on his skull all night long, the discovery of Rosario in his lap and Fausto partially draped over a shoulder (one touch of his hair or suit and he did not even _want_ to know what was on either). While in the shower, he recounted the previous day's events—particularly those linked to the Ten Year Bazooka. All unwillingly-perverted thoughts aside, the Storm lingered on Adult Haruhi's words.

…_irresponsible sitter…_

… _you become a better sitter as time goes on…_

… _I'm sure there's someone for you…_

…_try taking us on outings; little kids are chick-magnets…_

It was not much, but it did prompt the man to think seriously about the future. For the past fifteen years—had it really been that long already?—he had been a solidly faithful right-hand man for the Tenth, putting little else in front of his duties to the Vongola. It made him forget about things such as women and having a family. In fact, being as he usually found those two factors to life utterly irritating; those sorts of things were normally far from his mind. Adult Haruhi though… she seemed to put things into a little bit of perspective.

He never really stopped and thought about how the Eleventh was going to need quality assistance during his training to become a Vongola boss and leaving it up to Masaru and Haruhi could only spell out disaster.

So a few days after the important meeting, Gokudera asked Tsuna's permission if he could start dating again (being as he did not want to be taking strange women throughout the Compound without the Tenth's prior knowledge). He had dabbled in the singles' pool while preparing the Compound for the Tenth during what was supposed to be college, but never went back as soon as the Family was properly relocated. Tsuna smiled wisely, said something about Gokudera being a "late bloomer" and gave his approval with a laugh. It was a bit embarrassing, but worth it, he decided. He then threw the Boss off by asking if he could take the young Eleventh for the day.

_No, he is in school_, Tsuna had replied as he skimmed over some paperwork. _You may take Masaru and Haruhi though. They don't go back for another two days and their fathers have missions that need their full attention until then._

_How long are school breaks in Japan nowadays?_ Gokudera had asked, quite flustered—mainly because he did not know of these other missions.

_Long enough to repair half the building after a third-rate assassin tried to kill the little tykes and lost_, Tsuna had grinned.

Gokudera made a note of how he was far from dealing with normal children and morosely went to gather them.

The nearest town was not very large, but was large enough to spend the entire day in trying to covertly pick up women. He disliked the thought of copying Shamal, which would have probably landed him a few swift kicks to the Tender Area before the end of the day, so he decided that the best plan of action was probably to stand back and let any interested woman approach him.

It would have helped, however, if Masaru was not such a loud and sloppy brat.

"Whoa! I'm extremely sticky!" the kid laughed. He held out an ice cream-encrusted finger and inched ever closer towards Haruhi, who squealed in fake terror.

"Stop it Masaru-kun!"

"I have the Cheese Touch!"

"My fingers are crossed!"

"The added power of ice cream will make all finger-crossing useless against me!"

"Hiiii!"

Were they for real? What was wrong with kids these days?

"Masaru, stop it," Gokudera ordered through clenched teeth. The boy stopped and pouted.

"Goku-oji, don't you know about the Cheese Touch?"

"No, but what I do know is that you are covered in ice cream and I am not letting you get into my car like that."

"Does that mean I'm riding on the roof?" The boy's eyes lit up in extreme delight, recalling a threat used previously in the day.

"No," Gokudera sighed, "you are going to clean up." Since Masaru was done with his ice cream, Gokudera took the boy's hand and tried to wipe the sugary mess off. Unfortunately, the melted ice cream had already bonded to Masaru's skin, tearing up the napkin effortlessly. Gokudera simply stared in wonder as Masaru began giggling and stuck part of the napkin on his face. It did not help that Haruhi also began to laugh and that Masaru took a few more napkins from the dispenser on the table, only to become an even bigger mess.

"Now, look who's giving someone a hard time," a voice laughed in smooth Italian. Gokudera reluctantly looked over his shoulder to see a woman standing there, an amused look on her face.

"Wow, she's extremely hot too!" Masaru nearly yelled, in Japanese of course. The woman raised an eyebrow at the foreign language.

"Erm… you wouldn't know how to get this off, would you?" Gokudera asked nervously, pointing at the sticky mess that was Masaru. The woman smirked slightly and rolled her eyes, as if she should have seen the question coming.

"I take it you're not used to this," she said as she knelt down next to Masaru and took a fresh napkin from the dispenser on the table.

"No, not really," Gokudera said. This was not exactly how he wanted to gain a woman's attention, but took it anyways.

The Guardian watched as the woman went to work. She looked Masaru in the eyes and stuck out her tongue. The kid copied her and she wet the napkin with the boy's own spit. She able to quickly wipe all the ice cream and stuck napkin off of Masaru's face and hands in just a few minutes, leaving the kid somewhat cleaner (the shirt was going to have to go before entering the car, that was for sure).

"Grazie, Senora!" Masaru said, making use of what little Italian he knew to thank her. The woman smiled and patted Masaru on the head.

"He is such a cute little boy! Is he yours?" She turned to Gokudera, who flushed a distinct shade of red.

"No… he's my friend's son. I'm helping watch him while his father is away on business for a few days." The woman watched as Masaru moved chairs and tried to get a sample of that was left of Haruhi's ice cream. "That's my goddaughter."

"They are still cute children."

"Thanks."

"I'm Simonetta."

"Hayato."

"What an interesting name," she said, taking a seat at the table. "You don't hear that often."

"Maybe we can talk about it another time?"

"…like over dinner?"

"That sounds nice. I know a good place in the next town…"

"I used to work there in university; excellent seafood."

"Seven sound alright?"

"Seven-thirty; I still have errands to run and this was just a short break."

"Fine by me… did you want to meet me there or should I ask for directions to your place?"

The woman laughed and drew a map and address on a piece of scrap paper for Gokudera. They small-talked for a few more minutes before she had to leave, with a smile and a wave, leaving Gokudera nearly speechless.

"Goku-oji," Haruhi asked. "Who was that pretty lady?"

"Hopefully, the reason I might not be coming home tonight," Gokudera smiled.


End file.
